• Robison Wells

My Near Death Experience & Operation Gore Gullet

I'm embarking on a new project. A new Wargame Exploration.

The thing is, while I have loads of historical armies that are complete and playable, and while I've collected tons of Warhammer minis over the years, I haven't had an actual playable Warhammer army for at least five years. The closest thing I had was my Space Marine home brew, the Bloody Skulls, but even they weren't a complete army--they were just a lot of Space Marines. There were no vehicles, no fast attack, no heavy support. No real HQ to speak of, except I think I had a captain and a chaplain.

I just haven't had a playable Warhammer army in a long time

Now, I don't want to make too much out of this, so don't think I've had a spiritual awakening or anything, but over the weekend I was driving on the freeway and was in a rollover accident. One moment I was zipping along just fine (and I was in Idaho where the speed limit was 80mph, so I was going quick) and the next second I was off the road and the next second I was upside down in the car, hanging from the seat belt. I had a massive headache, but other than that I was fine.

The car was totaled, obviously. I wish I had pictures to show you, but even I never got a look at the car. (This picture is of someone else's rolled-over Subaru Outback.) Some people helped me out, laid me on the ground next to it, then the police showed up and the ambulance, and then I was taken to the hospital and I never once stopped to turn around and look at what remained of that car.

But I love that car, because it totally and miraculously saved my life.

Anyway, during all of this I was selling some old Warhammer models on eBay, as is my way, and a lot sold for $221, giving me a little hobby budget to play with. And while I was lying in the hospital I was thinking: what am I going to do with this hobby money?

This all happened on Saturday, the day that the new Age of Sigmar Dominion box set was being revealed, so I was thinking about Age of Sigmar, and the new lore and storyline, but I must admit that while I absolutely love the models in the new Dominion box, and might get it just to paint them, I had no interest in either a Stormcast or Kruleboyz army.

But I wanted an army. While I was lying in that hospital in Malad, Idaho, population 2095, I knew that my next project needed to be making an entire army that was a real, honest-to-goodness army.

Now, I've never played Age of Sigmar, not even a tiny game. And I must admit that I don't entirely get the whole "use as many models as you want, we don't care" approach to the game. I'm used to Warhammer 40k's 2000 points of highly regimented unit choices. And I wanted that for an Age of Sigmar army, and I wanted that army to fit in with the new storyline.

That left me with these thoughts: first: I could either go Grand Alliance of Order to unite with the Stormcast or Grand Alliance of Destruction to unite with Kragnos. That decision seemed obvious: Destruction. Second, there are four main Destruction armies right now, the Gloomspite Gitz, the Orruk Warclans, the Sons of Behamat, and the Ogor Mawtribes.

Gloomspite Gitz are awesome, but I'd rather paint big monsters than lots of troops, so I counted them out. Sons of Behemat are cool, but that may be swinging to far in the opposite direction: I at least wanted some troops and not solely big monsters. Orruk Warclans really didn't do it for me, and if I was going Orruks I'd go for Kruleboyz anyway. That left Ogor Mawtribes. Low model count. Big monsters. And...

And... the cool thing was that my friendly local game store had the old Age of Sigmar starter box Feast of Bones for sale for only $180. That's a steal, because the cheapest price on Amazon in $299. I'd get a starter set of Ogors, plus a starter set of Ossiarch Bonereapers, which I could flip on eBay no problem.

So I pulled the trigger.

But I still didn't know how to create a full army of Ogors in Age of Sigmar. A little research revealed that I'd need to buy a different book to get the competition rules, a book I didn't want to buy, so instead I looked up all of the winning Ogor Mawtribes army lists from various competitions.

And I came to this conclusion:

If I keep what comes in the Feast of Bones box, which is one Tyrant, 6 Gluttons, 2 Leadbelchers, and Iron Blaster, and then I bought two of the Start Collecting boxes, that would give me the pieces needed to build a Stonehorn, a Thundertusk, and two units of Mournfang Riders. That's a full competition list (a little big for a competition, but bigger is better than smaller) and it would include relatively few troops and lots of monsters.

So welcome to Operation Gore Gullet, my new big project. It will be my first ever 100% complete Age of Sigmar army, and I'll be able to do the whole thing with just three boxes of models (Feast of Bones and two start Collecting boxes). All things considered, that's not a bad way to get into the hobby.

Will I ever actually, for once, take my models to my friendly local game store and play a game? That remains to be seen. But I'm going to have a great tie painting up these models as a single cohesive group.

I've completed the first model: the Tyrant. He still needs some touching up and I ordered some basing materials so all the army would have similar style bases, so that's to come later.

In the meantime, I'm trying to rest as much as I can. Getting smacked on the head during a rollover accident isn't fun, and it's really messed me up emotionally and mentally. I have great plans for this Ogor army, but my body doesn't want to cooperate. The mind is willing but the flesh is weak. I've lost a lot of motivation and energy, and I need to get that back, but I'm sure the only answer is time and rest.

But I'd like to issue you a challenge: summer is starting: are you going to start a new army? Are you going to finish an army? My challenge to you is to look at a wargaming challenge you've never tried before--whether it be completing an army or starting a new game or learning a new painting technique or whatever--and dive right in. Do it now, the first Day of the Summer, and get done before the last day of the Summer.

I'm going to be giving periodic updates on Operation Gore Gullet, and I'd love to hear your updates in the comments.

Thanks for reading. Stay safe, and this week above all weeks I really mean that: stay safe. There's no telling from one minute to the next what's going to happen while you're riding down the freeway, and make sure you're in a safe car with your seatbelt on.

Be Good To Each Other.

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